Records were made to be broken. Unless, of course, they’re 1800’s baseball records. In reality, these guys were farm boys and trolly hobos with handlebar mustaches, but on paper they look like they have superpowers. How’d you like a guy with a .440 average on your fantasy team? They could do everything but hit home runs, apparently. Not all of these records are from the 19th Century, but having a record stand for over 100 years is a good way to get on this list. Here are The Top 10 Baseball Records That Will Never Be Broken. Enjoy.
10. Matt Kilroy Struck Out 513 Batters in 1886
You probably thought that Nolan Ryan had the record. Nope. You thought that because you’re an idiot. The most he ever struck out was 383 in 1973. In 1886, Matt Kilroy was a rookie for the Baltimore Orioles and struck out 513 farmers and trolly hobos during the season.
9. Walter Johnson Had 110 Career Shutouts
Randy Johnson is the current leader with 37. Actually, if you add up the career shutouts of Randy Johnson, Tom Glavine, Pedro Martinez, John Smoltz and Chris Carpenter, it still comes short. He almost makes that Conan O’Brien-in-a-popped-collar look seem cool.
8. Ty Cobb Hit .365 For His Career
.365 over 24 seasons? If you even try to say that’ll be accomplished again, Ty Cobb will come back from the dead with sharpened cleats and stab-murder you with them. Albert Pujols is the active batting average leader at .334. And he hasn’t even played 9 seasons. Plus, Ty would try to remind you that Pujols is a dirty Dominican.
7. Will White pitched 680 innings in 1879.
That includes starting and completing 75 games that season for the Cincinnati Reds. How crazy is that? Well, the Reds played 80 games all season long. He was their pitcher. Last year, Roy Halladay led the majors in innings pitched with 246.
6. Hugh Duffy Hit .440 in 1897
A .440 batting average sounds so circus-freak-show-insane at this point, that when someone is doing crazily well, people talk about if they’ll hit .400. And nobody’s done that since Ted Williams in 1941. Why not? Have you ever seen the mitts they used in Field of Dreams? Those fat finger gloves sucked. And Hugh Duffy would end up going to the Hall of Fame, but come on. Last year Joe Mauer won the A.L. batting title hitting .328. And last year, gloves were totally awesome.
5. Tim Keefe Had a 0.857 ERA in 1880
Earlier this season, Zack Greinke had a similar ERA in like, 3 starts and he got on the cover of Sports Illustrated. In 1880, Tim Keefe was a rookie with the Troy Trojans and had a 0.86 ERA in 105 innings. They really should have given him more innings. He’d end up going to the Hall of Fame. 0.86 was also apparently the number of gloves they had in the league, as well.
4. Rickey Henderson Stole 1406 Career Bases
To put Rickey Henderson’s stolen bases record into perspective, the guy with the most right now is Juan Pierre. And he’s about 1000 short. Lou Brock is #2 with 938. The technical amount for many stolen bases Rickey has is ‘a f*ckload’. But since then, pitchers have figured out slide steps and pitching from the stretch and all that good stuff. When Rickey used to stand naked in front of mirrors in the locker room and say, “Rickey’s the best”, he was actually correct.
3. John Coleman lost 48 games in 1883
The 1883 Philadelphia Quakers are one of the worst teams of all time and their ‘ace’ was so bad, his record will never be matched. The Quakers went 17-83. Good enough for last place, 46 games out of first. Their main pitcher was rookie John Coleman, who went 12-48. He’d play seven more seasons in the big leagues, but mainly as an outfielder. Sort of like Babe Ruth’s career path, without any of the ‘wins’ or ‘hits.’
2. Charley Radbourn Won 59 Games in 1884
If Charley Radbourn looks like he could have been in the Gunfight at the O.K. Corral, it’s probably because that only happened three years earlier. In 1884, Radbourn went 59-12 for the Providence Grays. That team’s so old, it sounds made up.
1. Almost Anything Done By Cy Young
Cy Young isn’t the greatest pitcher of all time, but he’s probably the most durable there’ll ever be. When Randy Johnson won his 300th game earlier this year, people were saying he’d be the last person to ever do it. And Johnson, the former-badass, looked like a crotchety old man in the process. Cy Young won 511 games from 1890-1911. Those were the days when you pitched until your goddamn arm fell off. What was he gonna do – get surgery? Ballplayers made a nickel a year back then and doctors had leaches and saws. No thanks.
Nice try getting 300 wins plus 212 more. Only three guys pitching right now have even started 511 games. Cy Young also had 749 complete games and over 7354 innings pitched. Nobody will ever do any of that. And we’d mention his 316 career losses, but Nolan Ryan only had 24 fewer. Maybe that’s why they have that award named after him.
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